Bear with me, I need to get it out.

I knew it wouldn't be long before I would end up using this as a place to vent, so I'll thank you all in advance for letting me do it. I will try to keep it at a minimum, but I just need to get some things out in the open before they send me into a tizzy. Yes I said tizzy.

I will admit that I can get frustrated incredibly easy at time. I also admit that when it comes to anything other than my kids (and sometimes that is pushed to the test) that I have very little patience. Anxiety gets the best of me at times. Today, I have reached a whole new level of frustration/impatience/anxiety. I never expected a military move to be easy...not in the least bit. But never in my wildest dreams did I ever think it would be as emotionally and mentally exhausting as it has been. The LOVELY (and by lovely I mean not lovely at all...) Navy gave us 30 days notice...ok, I get that can happen. But its not SUPPOSED to happen! Regardless, its what we have to work with, so we'll deal with it. You would think beings they gave us a month to get everything sorted, find a place to live, and relocate a family that we would be getting some sort of assistance...and by assistance I mean instruction on what to do, how to do it, and when it needs to be done by. Maybe not how or when...we don't need anyone to hold our hands...but for God's sake point us in the right direction! After all, 99% of the people I've spoken to have informed me this is how its SUPPOSED to be done. We've really gotten nothing. This isn't like a civilian family move. There is paperwork to be filed, checklists to be completed, a million places to go to get things in order (of course, it wouldn't make ANY sense to have it all in the same building to make things easier...), among many other things I can't even wrap my head around right now. I have received more help from a complete stranger in NC that I've never met before than we're received from this LOVELY (refer back to my definition of lovely) command that Matt has worked with for the past 3 years. All the while, we still haven't found a permanent place to live. There is zero support coming from this command, and its ridiculous. Its a joke. One can only hope this will not be the case when we are with the Marines.

I have never been so ready to leave a place before in my whole life. I need a fresh start. WE need a fresh start. I can't totally speak for Matt, but I feel so lost and alone and just completely lost right now. We are doing everything on our own. We have no family here, most of our friends are either leaving or are busy with their own lives (which is totally fine)...I know a lot of people have to deal with this everyday, and this won't be the last time I'll feel this way, but it gets really hard sometimes. I'm used to being able to lean on family and rely on them to help me find my way through things, and I can't do that right now. It feels like the world is crashing down, and I am really starting to feel isolated.

Anyway...we'll get through it. We always do.

Here's a picture of the boys...that always cheers me up :)

Well, here goes nothing!

I'll consider this our first "official" post, since the other one was just an explanation really.

For those who aren't aware, Matt received his orders to Camp Lejeune in Jacksonville, NC about 2 weeks ago. We were expecting his report date to be sometime in December, or late November at the earliest. Nope. Turns out his report date is October 11th. That's what we get for expecting. Needless to say, its been a crazy 2 weeks, trying to get everything in order to move and will only get crazier. We still haven't found a place to live (minor setback, right...?) but God willing something will work out and we will have a place to call home soon!

The boys are doing great. Andrew started 7th grade at the end of August and loves it! He's playing the saxophone and learning all sorts of new things. He'll be turning 12 in December, which blows my mind. He was just born last week, how the hell can he be 12 already?!? He's really excited to get to NC, which makes me happier than you know. Moving can be very difficult on kids (speaking from LOTS of experience here!) so the fact that he's actually looking forward to it gives me peace of mind. He's incredibly resilient, and I learn from him every day. Braxton is doing great as well. At his last appointment he was a little over 17 lbs and almost 27 in long. He's a BIG boy! That will come in handy when he's playing for the Ravens one day :) We've started him on cereal. Turns out he hates the rice cereal, so we give him the baby oatmeal, which he can't get enough of. I think once we get settled in NC we will start giving him veggies. He's rolling all over the place, and just last week has started saying Mama!!! He'll be 5 months old tomorrow. We just can't believe how fast time is passing! He is such a joy and a blessing. He seems to learn something new everyday, and watching it happen is such a wonderful gift.

As far as Matt and I, we are really just along for the ride. I stay home and take care of Braxton, which is the the most rewarding job I could ever have. Being able to experience every single thing with him has been amazing! Matt is getting ready to re-enlist on Friday Sept. 24th. The boys and I will be there in support, and I couldn't be prouder of all he has accomplished. When we report to Jacksonville, he will be going to Field Med, which is basically 8 weeks of training and learning how to play Marine. Eventually he will be able to come home on the weekends, which will be nice.

Beings the next couple of weeks will be insane, I'm not sure how often either one of us can get on here to keep everyone updated. We will certainly do our best!

Why you're here...

Let me start by saying that this is something I swore I would never do. Blogging just wasn't something I was ever, EVER going to do. Well...start the band, because I'm jumping on the wagon. I need a way to share whats going on with us with family and friends and have decided this is the best way to go about it. I will no longer be using my Facebook page. The drama that goes on with that website has become beyond unbearable. It has caused so many headaches and heartbreaks, the majority of them completely unnecessary, and I refuse to let it take control any longer. Hence, why you're here!

I will be posting pictures of the boys as well as updates on what is happening in our lives. My thoughts might make their way into the content as well, so you'll just have to bear through that :)  I'm hoping Matt will have the opportunity to get on here and share for himself as well. He's going to be pretty busy for the next few months, so most of the updates on him will probably be coming from me for a bit. I'd like to think I will make this a weekly venture, but we will have to see how it goes.

This is meant to be somewhere you can all come to get a glimpse into what we're up to. Feel free to comment and leave your feedback. We love hearing from you all! We hope you all enjoy it!


Love to you all,
Beck