Bear with me, I need to get it out.

I knew it wouldn't be long before I would end up using this as a place to vent, so I'll thank you all in advance for letting me do it. I will try to keep it at a minimum, but I just need to get some things out in the open before they send me into a tizzy. Yes I said tizzy.

I will admit that I can get frustrated incredibly easy at time. I also admit that when it comes to anything other than my kids (and sometimes that is pushed to the test) that I have very little patience. Anxiety gets the best of me at times. Today, I have reached a whole new level of frustration/impatience/anxiety. I never expected a military move to be easy...not in the least bit. But never in my wildest dreams did I ever think it would be as emotionally and mentally exhausting as it has been. The LOVELY (and by lovely I mean not lovely at all...) Navy gave us 30 days notice...ok, I get that can happen. But its not SUPPOSED to happen! Regardless, its what we have to work with, so we'll deal with it. You would think beings they gave us a month to get everything sorted, find a place to live, and relocate a family that we would be getting some sort of assistance...and by assistance I mean instruction on what to do, how to do it, and when it needs to be done by. Maybe not how or when...we don't need anyone to hold our hands...but for God's sake point us in the right direction! After all, 99% of the people I've spoken to have informed me this is how its SUPPOSED to be done. We've really gotten nothing. This isn't like a civilian family move. There is paperwork to be filed, checklists to be completed, a million places to go to get things in order (of course, it wouldn't make ANY sense to have it all in the same building to make things easier...), among many other things I can't even wrap my head around right now. I have received more help from a complete stranger in NC that I've never met before than we're received from this LOVELY (refer back to my definition of lovely) command that Matt has worked with for the past 3 years. All the while, we still haven't found a permanent place to live. There is zero support coming from this command, and its ridiculous. Its a joke. One can only hope this will not be the case when we are with the Marines.

I have never been so ready to leave a place before in my whole life. I need a fresh start. WE need a fresh start. I can't totally speak for Matt, but I feel so lost and alone and just completely lost right now. We are doing everything on our own. We have no family here, most of our friends are either leaving or are busy with their own lives (which is totally fine)...I know a lot of people have to deal with this everyday, and this won't be the last time I'll feel this way, but it gets really hard sometimes. I'm used to being able to lean on family and rely on them to help me find my way through things, and I can't do that right now. It feels like the world is crashing down, and I am really starting to feel isolated.

Anyway...we'll get through it. We always do.

Here's a picture of the boys...that always cheers me up :)