Its not that often I have time on my hands to do nothing, so I'm taking full advantage of that to go ahead and write another blog entry. Braxton is asleep, Matt has duty until tomorrow, and Andrew is outside playing. I'm exhausted, and would love to take a nap, but I know as soon as I lay my head down Braxton will be awake, sooooo...
I signed Andrew up for the base golf team today. He's really excited to begin practice. Unfortunately that won't begin until the end of March, but he's already started practicing. In fact, I'm hearing the shots ricocheting off the house as we speak...>:-/ I also swung by the exchange to pick up a couple short sleeved shirts for Braxton. It almost hit 80 today (woohoo!) and I realized all of his shirts are long sleeved, so now he has a couple things for this nice weather! He's always so good for us when we go out, and today was no exception. He even flirted up a storm with the cashier and a cute set of twins...like father like son! :)
I happened to notice when I got home, after running around all morning, that the center stone fell out of my wedding band. I'm pretty sure its covered under our renter's insurance, but I'm still really upset about it. I don't want to put either of my rings back on until I can have them checked to make sure none of the other diamonds are loose, so my hand is going to feel very naked for a bit.
I'm thinking about going back to work. I really don't want to. Not because of the working part. I don't want to leave Braxton. I give so much credit to the moms who go back to work. I mean, I went back to school and work after I had Andrew, but at least I could leave him with my mom. Even then, its hard to leave them. But we really need the extra income, so I'm looking for something I can do evenings and weekends when Matt is home so we won't have to worry about leaving him with someone we don't know or having to pay for daycare. I'm actually thinking about either offering in-home daycare (after getting the proper certifications, of course) or starting a residential cleaning service. Neither are my dream job, but its money, and would hopefully solve the issue of not wanting to leave Braxton. I'm looking into all of the requirements, so I will keep you updated. I'll work nights if it means I don't have to leave Braxton with a stranger.
There is something that terrifies me about leaving Braxton with someone so I can go to work. At least with someone I don't know. I don't think its irrational, and I believe is something every parent can relate to. But I am genuinely terrified. There are so many bad people in the world today. I know there are still plenty of good, but its so hard to decipher between the two anymore! And even if you do find a good one, accidents happen. Anything can happen. Not that it couldn't happen when he's with us, but I at least then I am in control, or so it feels anyway.
I came across a blog the other day through a post on Facebook. It's author is a woman my age, and she and her husband became parents for the first time just this past October. She is a teacher, and went back to work after her maternity leave was up. Just last week, she received a phone call that her 4 month old baby girl had stopped breathing and was being taken to the hospital. Unfortunately, they could not save her. They aren't sure what happened, but they are leaning toward SIDS. All they know is the sitter put her down for a nap, and when she went to check on her she was blue and wasn't breathing. She has been blogging about it ever since, I believe as a way to cope. Reading her thoughts about what her and her family are going through just crushes my heart. I tried telling Matt about it and just cried. I can't even begin to imagine losing my babies. Her blog is incredibly touching, and I read it daily. Matt asks me why I do that to myself. As far as I see it, this is her therapy. This poor woman is putting all of her thoughts, sorrows, and feelings down for people to see as a way to deal with this...I feel as a mom I at least owe it to her to read them. While it is heartbreaking to read, it is also touching, and is something that has stuck with me since I came across it...which is why I'm sharing it with all of you. You can choose to read it, or not. But I wanted to at least give you the option.
Kellie and James Staats' blog
It never ceases to amaze me how people can pull together in times of tragedy. Some of you may have noticed that I've posted a link to an online auction today. The auction was put together by a woman who owns an online boutique and came across the blog the same way I did. She was so touched, that she has been working incredibly hard since then to bring in donations to put up for this auction. She has hundreds of items up for bid. All of the proceeds will go to the Staats family to help offset the cost of the funeral and anything else they might need. A bunch of total strangers, who have never met the family, have come together to help. It brings tears to my eyes to think that not all hope in the world in lost. I ask you all...PLEASE check it out. If you can't make a purchase, at least spread the word. While nothing can bring their daughter back, having some of the financial burden lifted from their shoulders will be helpful. At the very least, please keep this family in your prayers!!!!
Tiny Wings auction for Maddie #1
Tiny Wings auction for Maddie #2
I feel like this entry might be a bit scattered...but thats ok. I am definitely scatter-brained at times! I think this is where I'll leave off tonight. Braxton is up from his nap anyway, and I need to start dinner. Its chicken, baked potato, and broccoli tonight. I am really enjoying eating healthier. Tomorrow is my first weigh in, so hopefully I will have good news to report!!! As always, thanks for reading!
Love to all,
Beck
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
A New Beginning...
I don't know if its the new year, or just coincidence, but I feel like I'm starting a new chapter in my life. Things just really seem to be going pretty well for us. We have our setbacks at times, but overall I think we're all pretty happy right now. We're getting settled here in North Carolina, and are beginning to really enjoy it!
I believe I left off around Halloween. Well, the holidays have come and gone, and while I'm a little late, I hope you all enjoyed them! My dad and my brother Jeff came down for Thanksgiving, and my mom and Ed were able to come down the following weekend. We had two people that Matt was going through FMTB with at the time over for Thanksgiving dinner, one of whom we became friends with while stationed in Pensacola. It was great to see her! It made me feel good that we were able to provide a nice meal to people who weren't able to go home and be with their families for the holiday, and is something I plan to make an annual event!
We were very blessed to be able to go home and spend almost 2 full weeks with our families over the Christmas and New Year's break. Matt graduated FMTB mid-December and had some time off afterwards, so we took advantage of it! We had a wonderful Christmas, and beings that it was Braxton's first made it even more special! He made out like a bandit, but naturally was more interested in the wrapping paper than what was underneath :) Both boys did quite well! Matt and the boys got me a Kobo e-Reader, which I LOVE! I didn't think I would like it, since I like an actual book, but I really do love it.
Now that the holidays have passed and Matt is finished with his training, things have gone back to normal (whatever that is!). Matt has settled into his new command and seems to enjoy it. They didn't place him in his ideal spot, but he is the type of guy that can and will make the best out of whatever situation he's put in...which just happens to be one of the things I admire about him the most! There is a strong possibility that he will be deploying in September, and while I am praying that will not be the case, I'm well aware that he WILL be going at some point. Its just something we have to deal with, and will. It will be probably be more difficult on us this time, for different reasons. I will, for the most part, become a "single parent" for 7 months, while he won't have the opportunity to see his kids everyday, every other day, or at all! Fortunately, we kick ass, so I know we'll get through it :)
Andrew, for the most part, is doing well in school. He's at that age where he's starting to focus more on his social life than his schooling. Aside from some minor setbacks, he's done well. He tried out for the school's soccer team, but unfortunately was not selected to be a part of the team. With the risk of sounding like a whiny mom who thinks her kid is the best at everything, I really do believe that decision was based on politics more than his ability. The kids who were picked for the team have been playing together since they were little, and it all seemed super clique-y. Andrew has been playing soccer since he could walk, and has played on a team since he was 3. He comes from a long line of soccer players, and while I know I'm biased, he is GOOD. Anyone that has seen him play can attest to that. Unfortunately, even if you're the best one out there, its awfully hard to shine when the team has been selected before tryouts began. On the upside, we found out the main base here offers recreational sports teams, and Andrew has decided he wants to be on their Jr. Golf team! I'm really excited for him, and I think having something to focus on will really do him well.
Braxton is doing wonderfully. He's 10 months old now (its so cliche, but really...where HAS the time gone???), and is up to 23 lbs and 31 in tall! He has 6 teeth, is crawling (albeit, a version all his own...), and is pulling himself up to a standing position. He had his first ear infection last week, but the antibiotics have cleared it right up and he's good as new! He's getting less and less formula and is getting more and more solid foods. It SO much more convenient to give him a bit of what I'm already making for dinner! Formula is a pain in the you know what, and I can't wait for him to not need it anymore! He has the most wonderful disposition, and while I've said this before, he really is such a joy. He's just such a happy little guy!
As for me...as some of you may know through FB, I have started a lifestyle change. No, not the kind that involves surgery and some serious explaining to do to my kids (haha, I laughed out loud on that one...), but one that will be changing things like eating habits, exercising, and other things to focus on a healthier, happier me! In the past, I've been so focused on weight and my physical appearance. So, I would go on a diet, usually one of these fad diets that promises rapid weight loss (while failing to mention the havoc they can wreak on your health). Sure, I lost weight. But eventually it all came back, and brought some friends. I'm not focusing on the number on the scale anymore. I'm focusing on what foods I'm eating, and am beginning to make much healthier decisions when it comes to what I'm eating and how I prepare food. I want to set a good example for Braxton. I want him to choose an apple over a bag of chips or cookies, without me having any say in it. I want that for all of us! I want us to want to go for a walk, or go play basketball over wanting to watch TV all the time. And while things like chips, cookies, and TV are ok at times, I don't want it to be the norm that its become. When I eat well, I feel GREAT. I only want the same for my family. They deserve to feel great too!
In addition to wanting to feel better about my appearance, I also want to feel better about myself as a person in general. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy. I have an amazing family, and truly am very blessed. But, like most of us, I do have some inner demons that need dealing with. I'm hoping being able to put all of my feelings down in writing will help with that. Don't we always feel better when you get things off your chest and out in the open? I am also going to be getting back into church. We all are. I always enjoyed it growing up, and I feel like it is something we as a family should do, and need. I pray all the time, and find myself talking to God often, which truly does make me feel better. My relationship with Him needs some work, and going to church, I feel, is definitely a step in the right direction!
Speaking of church, I am OFFICIALLY planning Braxton's Baptism. I actually just got off the phone with the Base Chaplain and will be meeting with him on March 8th. So, the option of March 19th might have to be pushed back a little, but I promise I will let everyone know ASAP!!!
I think that will be all for now. Braxton is waking up from his nap, and my belly is growling! Thanks for taking the time to read this. I already feel like you all "have my back", and I appreciate it more than you know!
Love you all!!!
Beck
I believe I left off around Halloween. Well, the holidays have come and gone, and while I'm a little late, I hope you all enjoyed them! My dad and my brother Jeff came down for Thanksgiving, and my mom and Ed were able to come down the following weekend. We had two people that Matt was going through FMTB with at the time over for Thanksgiving dinner, one of whom we became friends with while stationed in Pensacola. It was great to see her! It made me feel good that we were able to provide a nice meal to people who weren't able to go home and be with their families for the holiday, and is something I plan to make an annual event!
We were very blessed to be able to go home and spend almost 2 full weeks with our families over the Christmas and New Year's break. Matt graduated FMTB mid-December and had some time off afterwards, so we took advantage of it! We had a wonderful Christmas, and beings that it was Braxton's first made it even more special! He made out like a bandit, but naturally was more interested in the wrapping paper than what was underneath :) Both boys did quite well! Matt and the boys got me a Kobo e-Reader, which I LOVE! I didn't think I would like it, since I like an actual book, but I really do love it.
 | ||||
| Buddy boy with Santa! |
Now that the holidays have passed and Matt is finished with his training, things have gone back to normal (whatever that is!). Matt has settled into his new command and seems to enjoy it. They didn't place him in his ideal spot, but he is the type of guy that can and will make the best out of whatever situation he's put in...which just happens to be one of the things I admire about him the most! There is a strong possibility that he will be deploying in September, and while I am praying that will not be the case, I'm well aware that he WILL be going at some point. Its just something we have to deal with, and will. It will be probably be more difficult on us this time, for different reasons. I will, for the most part, become a "single parent" for 7 months, while he won't have the opportunity to see his kids everyday, every other day, or at all! Fortunately, we kick ass, so I know we'll get through it :)
Andrew, for the most part, is doing well in school. He's at that age where he's starting to focus more on his social life than his schooling. Aside from some minor setbacks, he's done well. He tried out for the school's soccer team, but unfortunately was not selected to be a part of the team. With the risk of sounding like a whiny mom who thinks her kid is the best at everything, I really do believe that decision was based on politics more than his ability. The kids who were picked for the team have been playing together since they were little, and it all seemed super clique-y. Andrew has been playing soccer since he could walk, and has played on a team since he was 3. He comes from a long line of soccer players, and while I know I'm biased, he is GOOD. Anyone that has seen him play can attest to that. Unfortunately, even if you're the best one out there, its awfully hard to shine when the team has been selected before tryouts began. On the upside, we found out the main base here offers recreational sports teams, and Andrew has decided he wants to be on their Jr. Golf team! I'm really excited for him, and I think having something to focus on will really do him well.
Braxton is doing wonderfully. He's 10 months old now (its so cliche, but really...where HAS the time gone???), and is up to 23 lbs and 31 in tall! He has 6 teeth, is crawling (albeit, a version all his own...), and is pulling himself up to a standing position. He had his first ear infection last week, but the antibiotics have cleared it right up and he's good as new! He's getting less and less formula and is getting more and more solid foods. It SO much more convenient to give him a bit of what I'm already making for dinner! Formula is a pain in the you know what, and I can't wait for him to not need it anymore! He has the most wonderful disposition, and while I've said this before, he really is such a joy. He's just such a happy little guy!
As for me...as some of you may know through FB, I have started a lifestyle change. No, not the kind that involves surgery and some serious explaining to do to my kids (haha, I laughed out loud on that one...), but one that will be changing things like eating habits, exercising, and other things to focus on a healthier, happier me! In the past, I've been so focused on weight and my physical appearance. So, I would go on a diet, usually one of these fad diets that promises rapid weight loss (while failing to mention the havoc they can wreak on your health). Sure, I lost weight. But eventually it all came back, and brought some friends. I'm not focusing on the number on the scale anymore. I'm focusing on what foods I'm eating, and am beginning to make much healthier decisions when it comes to what I'm eating and how I prepare food. I want to set a good example for Braxton. I want him to choose an apple over a bag of chips or cookies, without me having any say in it. I want that for all of us! I want us to want to go for a walk, or go play basketball over wanting to watch TV all the time. And while things like chips, cookies, and TV are ok at times, I don't want it to be the norm that its become. When I eat well, I feel GREAT. I only want the same for my family. They deserve to feel great too!
In addition to wanting to feel better about my appearance, I also want to feel better about myself as a person in general. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy. I have an amazing family, and truly am very blessed. But, like most of us, I do have some inner demons that need dealing with. I'm hoping being able to put all of my feelings down in writing will help with that. Don't we always feel better when you get things off your chest and out in the open? I am also going to be getting back into church. We all are. I always enjoyed it growing up, and I feel like it is something we as a family should do, and need. I pray all the time, and find myself talking to God often, which truly does make me feel better. My relationship with Him needs some work, and going to church, I feel, is definitely a step in the right direction!
Speaking of church, I am OFFICIALLY planning Braxton's Baptism. I actually just got off the phone with the Base Chaplain and will be meeting with him on March 8th. So, the option of March 19th might have to be pushed back a little, but I promise I will let everyone know ASAP!!!
I think that will be all for now. Braxton is waking up from his nap, and my belly is growling! Thanks for taking the time to read this. I already feel like you all "have my back", and I appreciate it more than you know!
Love you all!!!
Beck
It lives!!!
Its been quite some time since I've really even given this blog a thought. I really enjoyed sharing what is going on in our lives, so I figured I would start it back up! Instead of labeling it into one specific category (which previously, has been giving updates on our family), it will be about...well, anything. And everything! I'm treating this as almost a type of therapy for me. It feels good to be able to get my thoughts out, and being able to do so to my family, friends, and anyone that comes across it is something that I'm really looking forward to!
I hope you all enjoy this as much as I plan to!
Love to all,
Beck
I hope you all enjoy this as much as I plan to!
Love to all,
Beck
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