Back to the point...

I think I'm going to call it quits on the 30-Day Challenge. I could finish it out, but I've become quite bored with it. Its beginning to feel more like a chore. This blog is something I want to enjoy, something that I want to do. Not something I feel like I have to do. So, time to get this thing back on track!

Today is one of those days that you either anticipate with great excitement or dread with immense disdain. I fall into the latter category. I hate...HATE...April Fool's Day. I suck at pulling pranks and I believe everything I hear...a deadly combination for days like today. So please, don't prank me. I'm too easy. I am counting down the hours until tomorrow. The only good thing about today is that its my cousin's birthday. Happy Birthday, Rob! :)

There are two things I'm needing to talk about today. Here's the first...

We are a military family, so naturally we live in a military town. There are signs of it everywhere, whether its sitting in base traffic, driving past a unit training on the side of the road, or seeing the hundreds of signs families hang up along the road welcoming their loved one home from deployment. Another thing you see is decals and stickers on cars. They're pretty common, so I tend to not pay close attention to them. Yesterday, while I was on my way home from running some errands, there was a large decal on the back windshield of the car in front of me. It was a Fallen Soldier Memorial, the one with the boots, rifle, and helmet. I've seen them before, unfortunately. It usually has the picture along with "In Loving Memory.." with the name of the Fallen.

Example of the Fallen Soldier Memorial

The size alone caught my eye, but there was something else that got my attention. It said "In Loving Memory of my husband..." along with his date of birth, date of death, and name. It brought a huge wave of emotion over me. I turned down the Bon Jovi I was playing rockstar to and felt this incredible sadness. That woman in front of me got THAT knock on her door. The one where the men dressed in uniform tell you your loved one won't be coming home. The one that every military family fears more than you can imagine. Then I started wondering...was she alone? Was anyone there to catch her as she fell? Was there anyone there to help console her? Does her family live nearby or far away? Did they have kids that she had no choice but to remain strong for, all the while trying to deal with her husband's death? How is she doing now? Does being surrounded by military every single day make it worse? Does it help? What would I do...

That's the moment that it hit me. I mean really hit me. I've thought about it before, what if something happened to Matt? Everyone does. But this time was different. One day that could just as easily be me in that car with the Fallen Soldier decal for my husband. Do you know how terrifying a thought that is? Of course I know some of you know exactly how terrifying a thought it is because you've had the same one. Yes, there are some who have perhaps a higher chance of something like that happening (which has something to do with my next thing I want to talk about), but its something every military family thinks about. And its valid! No matter what the job or where they go, something could always happen. And yes, something could just as easily happen walking down the street here or driving to work. But when going down in the line of duty is added to list of things that could happen...that makes it completely different.

Please, don't think I'm morbid or someone who sits around constantly thinking of things that could happen to my husband. Very rarely do I think of it. But in reality, its something I occasionally have to about. We need to have a plan in case, God forbid, something were to happen. And that goes both ways. We need a plan if something were to happen to me as well. Its really something every family needs to have, not just military families.

Onto my next topic of discussion!

So I mentioned a paragraph or two ago about some jobs in the military being more dangerous than others. There are some families who may worry more and see their loved one much less than others. However, in no way, shape, or form, does that mean the families who may need to worry less and get see their loved ones more often don't have a right to be upset or angry when their loved one does in fact need to go. I can't even tell you how many times I've heard "Well at least your husband....." Seriously? Shut up. Ok, your husband has  done 5 tours and he's gone more than he's home and is in more danger than maybe someone else's husband...I get it, and that really sucks. I'm sorry that you have to deal with it and I will pray for his safety and for your peace of mind. But don't you dare tell me I don't have the RIGHT to miss my husband or be upset that he's deployed or going to deploy or hell, even if he's on a training mission for a couple weeks. My husband had training for 8 weeks 15 minutes down the street and got to come home sometimes, and guess what? I still missed him! What is it with some people? Its like the guy who always has a story that will out-do yours. There are just some people that you will never have it worse than (according to them). Truth is, someone ALWAYS has it worse than you no matter what the situation, so instead of turning your nose up and scoffing at the woman who is missing her husband that is out in the field for 2 "measly" weeks, or whose husband is on a ship and for the most part out of harms way, or whatever the situation may be, while your's is kicking down doors and dodging bullets in Afghanistan, embrace her. Relate to her. Comfort her. Tell her what you do to help pass the time or what keeps the smile on your face while he's gone. There was a time when you were in her shoes. Don't forget that. We need to be there for each other, not turn against each other in a war of  "Who's got it worse." Most of us don't have family near us, and each other is all we have to rely on.

I'm not speaking of anyone specifically, but this is something I've heard go on so many times. I heard it when Matt was in Kuwait, and I can't tell you how much it pissed me off. Most of the military wives I know do not do this, but there are some out there that do. I can only hope that anyone reading this that has found themselves to start a sentence with "Well at least your husband..." will think before they speak next time. And if you're one of those who is there to support your fellow military spouse no matter what their situation...kudos :)

I better leave off here. The groceries aren't going to buy themselves...although I wish like hell they would! I've got to say it felt good to get all of that out, and even better that I feel I'm getting back to what I want this blog to be. I had some help with realizing what it needed, and to that person I thank you. You know who you are :)

Have a GREAT weekend!
Beck